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Christopher's Rating of Hallowe'en Treats



Apples: is there anyone that eats apples handed out by strangers? Thanks to the razor-hidden-inside-every-Hallowe'en-apple urban legend, these are destined for the garbage can. F

Loose Popcorn: while the popcorn itself is probably fine, by the time it's mixed in with everything else in your bag, it looks like it's been gathered off the floor of a dirty movie theater. D

Candy: these little coloured bits of sucrose, fructose and glucose are the staple of every kid's goodie bag. The best designed ones fill in all the indentations on your molars and seal in the bacteria. A+

Mandarin Oranges: for some reason, parents are convinced that oranges are safer than apples because they have a peel, even though it could be injected full of cyanide for all they know. D-

Pennies: I always suspected that these are scraped out of someone's car ashtray. C-