insert witty title here

A few mornings each week, I go to the gym for some cardio before work. While there, my sense of wonder never seems to fade, as I watch an assortment of people interact with the cardio machines.

I say interact because what they's doing can't be described as "exercise". To my mind, exercise involves some sort of moderately vigourous effort that exceeds your normal activity level. And if you can casually read a magazine while you're exercising, then it ain't exercise that you're doing. And if you can read a magazine and carry on an animated conversation in your normal voice, then stop screwing around, get off the damn machine and let someone who wants to exercise, use it.

In my observations, I've noticed that gym-goers seem to fall into one of four groups:

the people who are there to socialize
the people who come for the magazines
the people who simply want to be noticed
and lastly, the people who are there to exercise

The socializers will spend two hours at the gym, but only do 15 minutes worth of exercise. The rest of the time they're prancing around, happily chatting with anyone about anything. The readers will show up all bedecked out in their gym gear - complete with gloves, then park their asses on a machine and then read a six-month old issue of O for 20 minutes. If asked if someone else can use the machine, they'll reply "I'm almost done". The attention whores all wear the same kind of outfits: tight shirts and short shorts. They choose exercises that alternatively display either cleavage or bootie and they all wear the same "oh-I'm-so-tired-of-being-stared-at-like-a-piece-of-meat" look on their face. Heaven forbid they show up in something loose and comfortable that incidently hides their T & A. The last group is the smallest of the four and what sets them apart is the fact that they're sweating.

Because exercise involves some sort of moderately vigourous effort.


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