insert witty title here

There's an old adage that "it takes all kinds", but when you think about it, it really doesn't.

For example...

A resident called police at about 7:30 a.m. to report a naked man clad only in a rope standing in her back yard on the 2000 block of Brookhurst Avenue.

"She described him as being covered in feces," Medford police Lt. Mike Moran said.

Before he left the yard, Kelly James Bailey, 33, reportedly smashed a lawn chair and ran away with a strip of leopard-print vinyl peeled from the seat, Moran said...

..."When we caught him, he still appeared to be covered in fecal matter," Moran said. "He told us, though, he was partying with girls the night before and somehow ended up rolling around in tomato paste."

As officers patted him down, they found that he had taken the leopard-print vinyl strip and used it and the rope-belt to fashion a primitive loin cloth, Moran said.

.