insert witty title here

Thinking about it, I've concluded that the aspect of social interaction which baffles me the most is the determination with which most people choose not to say what they really mean. Equally baffling is their determination not to hear the words coming out of my mouth, but instead to adlib (and react to) a whole series of statements I never made.

It doesn't seem to matter what the relationship context is...it's like The Matrix: it's everywhere and all around us.

The following seem like seven pretty straightforward behavioural guidelines to me but evidently I'm too out-of-touch with the rest of the world, because I haven't encountered too many adults who make an effort to live this way:

1. If you feel a certain way, then say so. Don't declare that you feel one way and actually feel the total opposite. And you certainly have no business resenting me when I believe you.

2. Speak in complete sentences. You've known how to talk since you were at least four years old. If you cannot be bothered to assemble an articulate sentence composed of nouns, verbs and conjunctions, then unless you have some debilitating speech impediment, why should I be bothered to do it for you?

3. Stop making the leap from assumption to conclusion. The only excuse for not making an effort to find something out for certain is laziness. In a similar vein, reality isn't going to be altered on the strength of you really, really, really insisting that you want it to. Facts are facts. You don't have to like them, but for God's sake accept them and move on.

4. If you enjoy drama then sign up at the local theatre guild. Don't inflict it on your co-workers, friends or family. Trust me, they might tolerate it but they don't appreciate it.

5. Do you know what "hyperbole" is? It's when things are continuously described as either the very worst or the very best. See #4 (drama) for what to do about it.

6. Before you interrupt someone, take a second to ask them if they have a moment to talk. Assuming that it only looks like I'm absorbed in my work when you walk in and immediately begin chattering away about your constipated hamster, doesn't do much to make me particularly interested or sympathetic towards you. After all, you just showed me zero consideration.

7. If you want to be trusted, then tell the truth. Exaggerating, prevaricating and blatant lying all have a consequence and that consequence is that people aren't going to trust you. Same goes for dependability. If you let people down, they learn not to rely on you. Cause and effect...


Now I'm not suggesting that I'm infallible or that I don't have my own struggles with some of these rules (particularly #1), but I'm always aware of them and whether or not I'm measuring up.


peace


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