insert witty title here

When it comes to moving through life without the person you thought would be in your life forever, you can keep stumbling over those little reminders of love for a long, long time.

Hmmm I need more shaving cream, this can is almost out. It didn't seem to last very - oh right...Heather and I were both using it."

I hold the empty shaving cream can in my hand and stare at the bathroom wastebasket. Throwing it away means throwing away one more tangible link to our life together, yet keeping it feels like I'm flirting with obsessiveness.

I've lost so many of the other little proofs of our life together...the food in the cupboards is all mine, the chalk drawings her daughter created on the outside patio have washed away in the September rain, and the extra parking space is now occupied by a sagging green volvo instead of her red toyota.

I stare at the empty canister of shaving cream and I miss her. I miss the sound of her voice, the scent of her shampoo, the velvet caress of her lips against my skin. I think of all the laughter we shared, the love we made and the secrets we confessed.

I carry all these memories in my head and I realize that in the end, only altzheimers can steal them from me.

So I throw the empty can away because it's just an empty can.


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I'm actually at a loss for words on this one...


At first, it was just a guy, dressed like a doctor, driving an ambulance reported stolen...But the dead deer in the back, with an IV made it weird

Cops in North Carolina thought it was odd enough a Jacksonville man was driving an ambulance reported stolen hours earlier.

Odder still was that he was wearing a makeshift doctor's uniform consisting of a stethoscope, a pager-like gadget and latex gloves stuffed in his back pocket.

But then things started getting really strange when they saw a dead deer, fully stretched out and wedged in the back. Some said there was an intravenous line attached to the animal and there was evidence a defibrillator had been used.

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Thinking about it, I've concluded that the aspect of social interaction which baffles me the most is the determination with which most people choose not to say what they really mean. Equally baffling is their determination not to hear the words coming out of my mouth, but instead to adlib (and react to) a whole series of statements I never made.

It doesn't seem to matter what the relationship context is...it's like The Matrix: it's everywhere and all around us.

The following seem like seven pretty straightforward behavioural guidelines to me but evidently I'm too out-of-touch with the rest of the world, because I haven't encountered too many adults who make an effort to live this way:

1. If you feel a certain way, then say so. Don't declare that you feel one way and actually feel the total opposite. And you certainly have no business resenting me when I believe you.

2. Speak in complete sentences. You've known how to talk since you were at least four years old. If you cannot be bothered to assemble an articulate sentence composed of nouns, verbs and conjunctions, then unless you have some debilitating speech impediment, why should I be bothered to do it for you?

3. Stop making the leap from assumption to conclusion. The only excuse for not making an effort to find something out for certain is laziness. In a similar vein, reality isn't going to be altered on the strength of you really, really, really insisting that you want it to. Facts are facts. You don't have to like them, but for God's sake accept them and move on.

4. If you enjoy drama then sign up at the local theatre guild. Don't inflict it on your co-workers, friends or family. Trust me, they might tolerate it but they don't appreciate it.

5. Do you know what "hyperbole" is? It's when things are continuously described as either the very worst or the very best. See #4 (drama) for what to do about it.

6. Before you interrupt someone, take a second to ask them if they have a moment to talk. Assuming that it only looks like I'm absorbed in my work when you walk in and immediately begin chattering away about your constipated hamster, doesn't do much to make me particularly interested or sympathetic towards you. After all, you just showed me zero consideration.

7. If you want to be trusted, then tell the truth. Exaggerating, prevaricating and blatant lying all have a consequence and that consequence is that people aren't going to trust you. Same goes for dependability. If you let people down, they learn not to rely on you. Cause and effect...


Now I'm not suggesting that I'm infallible or that I don't have my own struggles with some of these rules (particularly #1), but I'm always aware of them and whether or not I'm measuring up.


peace


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I can't see myself ever having a serious relationship again.

And I don't mean that in a "woe is me" way, I just mean that when I think about my future, I see myself remaining unattached.

Part of the reason for that is because I find that even the idea of meeting someone and going through all of that "getting to know you" rigmarole is exhausting.

Another reason is that I'd like to concentrate on my own interests and needs for a change, rather than dedicate myself to someone else's.

That doesn't mean that I'm not lonely, but I'm reaching a state of mind where lonliness isn't that big of a deal.

And it's not that scary.


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Although September 18th has come and gone, I'm all too aware of the fact that it marks the one-month anniversary of Heather's leaving.

In some respects the time has dragged and in other ways it's flown by - but regardless of how fast or slow it feels, I wake up each morning with an empty feeling. The apartment only amplifies this because although she only lived there for 26 days, it was a home that we had chosen together...and the white, sterile walls where our family pictures were supposed to hang, only serve to remind me of what's missing.

But I cannot abide feeling victimized, least of all by a situation within my power to change, so I've decided to move before the year is out. I've purchased a small place and rather that it merely serving as somewhere to sleep and store my things, I intend to make it my home.


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Southern Comfort?

A Greenville Technical College official who referred to New Orleans evacuees in Greenville as yard apes has resigned.

Renee Holcombe, formerly an associate vice president for student services with a staff of about 40, told employees in two separate briefings last week that the school's aid for the mostly black hurricane victims staying at the Palmetto Expo Center would include sending yellow buses to pick up the "yard apes," said Barton and senior vice president Ben Dillard.

Dillard said Wednesday that Holcombe was referring specifically to the children of evacuees, who were provided separate transportation.

I'm happy to say that in my travels through the "deep south", this sort of attitude seemed to be the exception not the rule. And frankly, white folk don't have any exclusive marketing rights to narrow minded racism - it's practiced by people of every colour...to the shame of the whole human race.


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As I've noted before, today's youth do not seem to value the richness of the english language, nor do they value accuracy when spelling the words that they do know. Instead they trundle along with a ten word vocabulary, resorting to "you know" when they end up unable to adequately express themselves.

Online and text messaging have exacerbated this phenomena by creating a dialect where one is encouraged to spell phonetically ("wat" replaces "what"..."ur" replaces both "your" and "you're") and grammar is about as welcome as genital warts.

this is of course a ludicrous situation and inevitiably these kids run smack into the brick wall of reality when they attempt to communicate outside of their peer group.

I lifted the following conversation from a health & fitness forum that I subscribe to. I think it illustrates my point very well...


strongsmallkid: for health in school, sometimes i feel naushces when they talk about like reproduction and std's and shit. hey i cant help it dont call me a pussy or whatever.. u think i wanna feel that way? anyone hav any suggestions?

clarkkent: I only get nauseous when people say nausches.

JerseyArt: Just a guess but I bet spelling at least gave you a headache.

CanadianRacing: i had naucshes for dinner today!

NuggzThe Ninja: WTF is naushces...

MantisShrimp: nachos?

pinkfairy: I think he means "nauseous", as in feeling sick.

STCBBall3: naushes LOL

bigpoppaproppy: take a spelling class?

BOZZ: To avoid getting nashes you should use a condom. I thought they taught this in health class?????

give me abs: so you're saying that by talking about stds you get free nachos?

eggs goood: nachos make you nauseous?

strongsmallkid: thanks for the help. smart ass's.


What people like strongsmallkid fail to grasp, is that the rest of the world isn't under any obligation to figure out what he is trying to say.

People should realize that if they have a need to communicate, then they also have a responsibility to do more than simply blurt out some incomprehensible gibberish and then sit back and demand that their audience do all the work to figure out what they are trying to say.

And anyone that resorts to an exasperated "you know" is doing exactly that.


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Normally I'd offer some sort of commentary but right now I'm too filled with horror and rage to offer any insight.

deputies find 11 disabled children in cages

WAKEMAN, Ohio - Huron County sheriff's deputies found 11 children with various disabilities, including autism, locked in cages with alarms in a house near here, authorities said.

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The children, ages 1 to 14, were in cages in a house in Clarksfield Township, about nine miles east of Norwalk, Ohio. They had no blankets or pillows, and the cages were rigged with alarms, according to the sheriff's office.

Some of the children had been directed for the last three years to sleep in the cages, sheriff's Capt. Bob McLaughlin said. The children were removed after authorities searched the residence Friday night.

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The children told authorities they slept in the 40-inch-high by 40-inch-deep cages at night. Doors to some of the cages were blocked with heavy furniture, they said.

Some of the cages were not long enough to lie in without the children tucking their legs in a folded position. None of the cages was tall enough to stand up in, Captain McLaughlin said.
The majority of the children are reported to be autistic, he said.

Sharen and Mike Gravelle are adoptive or foster parents for all 11 children, officials said. Prosecutors are reviewing the case, but no charges have been filed.

What kind of person says to themself "Hey I know, let's just put these kids in cages" and then congratulates themselves for such a good idea?


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Four years ago today...


Nunquam obliviscar

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This is probably one of my biggest annoyances about people:

When someone asks you a question and then, as you begin to answer their question, they cut you off and start answering it themselves - or they cut you off with some rambling explanation about why they asked in the first place.

Here's a far-fetched suggestion: after you impose yourself on me by asking me a question, how about you rein in the ADD for the 25 seconds it's gonna take me to answer your dumb ass.

As my sergeant used to say: there are no stupid questions, only stupid people.


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Headcolds and helicopter flying do not go well together. I thought my ears were gonna implode this morning.


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Requisat en Pace

Along with Don Adams of "Get Smart!", you were my childhood hero. I'm just glad that I had the opportunity to meet you and tell you that so many years ago in Toronto.

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