insert witty title here

I figure that the only time I'm not thinking about Heather & her daughter is when I'm asleep.

I'm not thinking unkind thoughts or feeling all pouty and hard-done-by when I think about them. She had to decide for herself what she felt was the right thing to do and as much as I want to, I simply cannot resent her for that.

Before she left we spoke of many things and one of the observations I made was that I believe that each of us has an obligation to critique our own behaviour and to not let ourselves be distracted from that by critiquing the behaviour of others.

Or as the adage goes: when you point a finger at someone, there are three other fingers pointing back at you"

And so I sit at my desk...drive through town...exercise at the gym and lay awake at night listening to the upstairs neighbours fuck and I think about the ways that I failed to provide them with what they needed.

There's little that's black and white in my thoughts....there's far too many shades of gray. Although I let events rewind through my mind, there's no list....no moment of insight where I can point and say "A-ha! That's the moment when things fell apart!".

Instead all I feel is a little bewildered and a whole lot of sorrow for the heartache that the three of us share.


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