insert witty title here

Isn't it nice when folks write back to you?


Dear Kimsquit,

I AM VERY SORRY FOR THE DELAY IN REPLYING YOU IT WAS DUE TO SOME COMPLICATIONS IN HEART I COULDN'T BREATH THEN SO I HAD TO BE RUSHED TO THE CLINIC WHERE I WAS ADMITTED FOR SOME TIME NOW BUT PRAISE AND THANK GOD THAT AM OUT OF IT AT LEAST FOR NOW.

I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE MAIL,AND THE WORD'S OF ENCOURAGEMENT THOUGH AM NOT TOO SOUND TO BE WRITING TO YOU BUT I HAVE SAID TO MYSELF THAT I WILL DO ALL I CAN TO ASSIST THE CHURCH IN ANY LITTLE WAY THAT I CAN.

HOWEVER SINCE I WILL NOT BE IN THE PROPER POSITION AND DUE TO HEALTH REASON'S TOO, I WILL BE HANDLING OVER EVERYTHING TO MY ATTORNEY WHO WILL MAKE SURE THAT ALL NECESSARY ARRANGEMENT ARE MADE FOR THE COLLECTION OF THE MONIES TO THE APPROVED BENEFICIARY THAT IS WHOM EVER THE CHURCH ASSIGN'S TO COLLECT THE MONIES ON THERE BEHALF.

I WILL HANDING ALL THE NECESSARY INFORMATIONS THAT YOU HAVE GIVING TO ME TO MY ATTORNEY WHO WILL NOW BE HANDLING THIS PROJECT ON MY BEHALF.

SO THEN THOSE WHO ARE OF FAITH ARE BLESSED WITH BELEIVING ABRAHAM (GALATIANS 3 VERSE 9).

I have shown you in every way by laboring like this, that you must support the weak. And remembering the words of the Lord Jesus, that He said, 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.
--Acts 20:35

He who sits in the heavens shall laugh.
--Psalm 2:4

Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.
--Matthew 5:16

MAY GOD BLESS US ALL AMEN.

LUCIA.
N:B.CONTACT MY ATTORNEY AS SOON AS YOU RECEIVE THIS MAIL HIS NAME IS BARR.FAROUK FAROUK.
EMAIL :attorneyfarouk@lawyer.com


****


Dear Lucia,

It saddens me to hear that you have been to the clinic. I had not heard from you since yesterday so I was beginning to worry that something dreadful had happened to prevent you from writing sooner. Are your heart complications related to your cancer or is it a separate ailment altogether?

While on the subject of your heart condition, I should mention that our Ministry happens to have a collection of human hearts, which we use in sacrifices to Lucifer. Perhaps if you sent me details on your blood type and physiological requirements, we could send you one of our fresher ones as a gift?

It is very reassuring to learn that you do in fact support the United Church of Satan. Every year we receive a number of offers from wealthy widows but they are always rescinded when they realize that their donation will be used for drunken orgies and front-row tickets to Metallica and Iron Maiden.

You mention in your letter that you will do all you can to assist our Church in any little way that you can. That's quite the affirmation. Since you have offered, there are a couple of little things you could do that would really help our organization:

1, Here in North America we have run into a shortage of buxom, nubile virgins. If you know any and can convince them to come and stay with us, it would really help our morale.

2. We have also run out of penis enlargement pills. Sadly, no one seems to offer them for sale over the internet. If you have access to a supply of these and can forward twelve dozen cases (preferably not COD) it would be terrific.

3. We also need more sacrificial goats. Please send us some goats. Preferably not COD.

Thank you for supplying your attorney's name and email address. Is Farouk his last name or his first name? Would he mind if I just called him Farouk or better yet, F2?

"Blessed are the gullible for they shall be stripped of their money" ~ Episiotomy 4:14

"He who passes gas in the car shall suffer eternal damnation" ~ Dalmatians 6:57

"Fear not for I have come bringing sandwiches" ~ Colostomy 5:23

"Kiss my grits" ~ Flo


warm regards,

Kimsquit

*********

disclaimer:

I should point out that Mrs. Lucia Ibram isn't the same Lucia that's in my link list. Don't want folks thinking that I'm just making all this stuff up (except for the whole 'Church of Satan' thing)...

********