insert witty title here

This little public service commercial was a sidebar on the "what's on television" channel. You know, the channel that shows what's on all the other channels? Most cable companies seem to have one these days. Usually they're just blurbs for local realtors, moving companies or the new delicatessen. Here's how this one went:

Opening scene: young boy (Elevenish?) walking the aisles of a corner store.

Cut to him leaving the store.

Close up of him sliding a chocolate bar into his jacket.

Store owner comes out: "Hey kid! you didn't pay for that!"

Next scene: Cop brings the boy home to his father. Announces: "Sir, we caught your son stealing."

Switch to Living Room: Son is slouching on the couch. Police Officer standing by a doorway.

Distraught father says: "Did your friends put you up to this? Where on earth did you learn to steal??"

Son replies: "But Dad, you steal satellite signals".

Fade to black and police radio traffic.

Final dramatic voiceover: "Stealing is stealing. This message brought to you by the Coalition of Satellite Television Companies.

Now I don't know about you, but I think it's pretty funny that the son sells his own father out to the cops. Especially when it will mean the end of his own access to Spongebob Squarepants or whatever the hell it is that kids watch these days. In fact, if my kids knew that they could have all the television they wanted by stealing satellite signals, they'd fall all over themselves in their rush to nail a receiving dish to the roof.

If the Coalition of Satellite Television Companies want to reduce theft, perhaps they should reduce their 200% profit down to 125% so more folks can afford to pay for it. Then again, it's not like there's a whole lot on that's worth paying for in the first place...

Not that I'm advocating theft mind you (just in case the Coalition of Satellite Television Companies monitors blogspot.com). Having lived in debt and crawled out from under it, I'm a convert to living within my means rather than trying to support a lifestyle I can't afford. As trite as the saying goes, it carries with it the seed of truth: 'if you want something you have three options, save up and pay cash, sell something else you own to pay for it, or learn to live without it.'


Of course, living in the Golden Age of Immediate Personal Convenience does put a lot of social pressure on you to spend! spend! spend! Those E-Z payment, no money down, all applications approved, no waiting period because this offer won't last bargains are always there, bombarding you with the demand to piss away your hard-earned cash on all sorts of useless crap. Do you really need matching meat cleavers? Maybe it would do our collective karma some good to send that $29.95 to the folks in Sierra Leone refugee camps, the ones who have to watch their children hobbling around on the remaining stumps of the arms and legs that guerrillas hacked off.

Shame on all of us.

I didn't intend to head off in this direction at all when I sat down to type. Guess it's something I needed to do. Chalk it up to North American middle-class guilt. I'm not feeling gloomy at all, so I'm as surprised as you that I went from slamming big satellite companies to wringing my hands over mutilated African babies. Talk about poopin' on a party...

I'm going to be away for the next few days...work related stuff. I can use the change of scenery :)